My father died in a complicated way after a complicated relationship when I was 19. For years, I have struggled to come up with a composition that I felt would tell his story in an adequate way. It felt like too much pressure coupled with too many emotions. 16 years have past and I finally felt at peace enough to tackle this subject matter.
My father was a man conflicted with demons of his own making. A lone wolf who was constantly on the move searching for peace, but falling short with each new town and relationship he entered. At his core, he was a good man. I will forever believe that. He had a tough childhood, spent his early adulthood serving in Vietnam as a Sniper, and spent a lifetime battling mental illness. I wish he would have sought help. I bet he could have been a really great father, but mental illness isn't fair and doesn't discriminate.
I can remember my mom explaining it to me when I was little, saying that he had a cloud in his brain that made him not be able to make good decisions, and do and say things that didn't make sense. I like to think he is at peace now from his demons and looking down on me from a cloudless sky.
Dad | 18" x 24" on Pine using Prismacolor Colored Pencils, LePlume Alcohol based makers, and Gelly Roll Gel Pens.